Sunday, May 31, 2009

Dear Greg Pritchard,

1. I thought only perverts enjoy watching a castrato sing. How can people tolerate the excruciating pain of cutting one's manhood prior to the era of anesthetics - in the name of music? That, followed by a lifelong indignity of being an incomplete man. I can still recall the scene of wrinkled eunuchs carrying their preserved ahem balls as they were driven out the Forbidden City in "The Last Emperor".

( Uneasy gulp )

Then I discover Vitas.

A prince must have galloped out of fairy tale books on his white horse. However when he sang "Ave Maria". Mamma, I heard the eerie similarity to Alessandro Moreschi's better than Moreschi. It's Farinelli in his prime!

I ain't a dumb blonde who would doubt your manhood. I don't need thick glasses to see that your goatee is genuine. By now we all know you can sing like Freddy Mercury and a castrato can't.

( Smacks forehead in disbelief )

However, I almost thought Vitas was a castrato - he is not hairy, he is not musculine, the feminine facial features and the ethereal high pitch of the Greek mythical Siren.

Until the camera zoomed to his Adam's apple.

0 _ 0 >>>>>>>> So relieved he is "intact".

I ain't a Catholic and I don't fancy stepping into Catholic Churches after reading about "The Bad Popes" and the Inquisition. Well... I might stand a wee bit outside to hear this seraph.

( Does that make me a pervert now? )

Vitas sang for the Olympics in China. His songs in Russian are given Chinese sub-titles, receive rave reviews from the Chinese press. Ah...


Countertenor + clean cut image + Chinese subtitles = China Market$

2. Well, you might be reluctant to sacrifice that goatee of yours.

There's a countertenor who sells millions of CDs by singing he's a slave of his dirty baby and he'll let her whip him if he misbehaves.

X_X ( Wonder how does his mother take that ? )

I haven't seen him shaved for years.

He doesn't show off his high range that often.

Doesn't matter, he plays piano and he is a great dancer.

Errr I guess THAT infamous wardrobe malfunction turned on girls to buy his CDs.

$ _ $

Countertenor + Unshaven image + Wardrobe malfunction = American Market$

3. Classical countertenors. The only one I like is that Japanese short short guy who plucked his eyebrows.

( Shudders - males plucking their eyebrows with tweezers are freakier than males singing female voices )

A poverina cannot imagine how you will generate that kind of cash to get an education to sing opera. Besides, a poverina doesn't have the chance to fathom the $ in this tight high class niche.

4. Rock Opera ? Freddy Mercury's cool but he reminds everyone of AIDS and it doesn't help to sing like Freddy and looking like Adam Lambert.

Hope to hear more of you,


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