Sunday, December 28, 2008

Ugly City, Ugly Taste for Movies

With the cineplex thingie in Center Point plus other cinemas showing at least twenty different movies at the same time in KK, I still rarely have the desire to go for movies. Even when I am bored stiff, even though I don't have a TV. I don't crave for the cinemas here.

It's easy to categorize what they have: American, Hong Kong and occasionally, made in Malaysia. They don't even show Bollywood. Out of this three, I don't have to spell out which ones are downright shallow and which one is stereotype, huh?

X_ X

Narrow-mindedness rules. Anything not belonging to the preferred cultures does not sell.

Okay, okay...I am nagging because I crave to see Nuova Cinema Paradiso.

I want to see on the big screen how the village Catholic priest plays censorship board. He views all the movies that are to be showed. Whenever the scene heats up to passionate kisses, he rings his bell in disapproval and Alfredo the projectionist marks the portion with a paper to be clipped off later.

I bet many self-righteous souls are offended by the similarity they share with the Sciliano-Catholic priest. You know...the fuss about dressing up like a tomboy and yoga...this one I am really could they ban Brad Pitt's Toyota ad to save the ego of ketot Malaysian men? ( Millions of tears, I cannot see Brad Pitt for free. May they incur the wrath of all Malaysian females. )

I crave to see little Toto and his friends gluing their eyes to a kissing couple and their hands going to the wrong places and ... Alfredo shows up. Awww how come no one manage to upload this scene on Youtube?

I don't mind hearing Alfredo yelling "Minkia" at Toto the monkey. Ha ha, they don't even translate this in the English subtitles.

I must be sadistic because I love to see the Maestra ( teacher ) so garang one. She keeps on asking a bongok student "Allora, quanto fa cinque per cinque?" ( So, how much is five times five? ). First he said "Trenta" ( Thirty ), then he said "quaranta.".( forty ) His head kena ketuk the blackboard a few times. Then the teacher asks the class to recite 1x5=5, 2x5=10, 3x5=15, 4x5=20... Un cinque cinque, due cinque dieci, tre cinque quindici, quattro cinque venti... Meanwhile Toto flashes a page showing a Christmas tree and whispers venti cinque . .. ( twenty five ) and the teacher asks " Per ultima volta, quanto fa cinque per cinque?"( For the last time, how much is five times five? ) To which the bongok answers confidently: "Natale!" ( Christmas ) Kena wallop lah, how to save him? Ha ha.

The final scene is the killer: All the kiss scenes the Catholic priest orders Alfredo to cut, he collects in a tin and presents it to Toto after his death. A long long trailer just the tasteful way an Italiano likes it, just the way someone more righteous than the Catholic priest hates it. This brings up the strangest mixture of emotions in me as I wander between the kisses and Toto's expressions because instead of erotic, it overwhelmingly showers all of Alfredo's unselfish love for Toto. It made me almost cried.

It's heresy in this city. So I better let them google what is "minkia"

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