Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Violence on TV

Dear Blog

I want to tell you, I will never understand Dutch taste. Just watch their TV. Most programs are in Dutch. ( Alien language ). They have free pornography after midnight. But I think this local documentary gets a prize for being outstanding from me. Some TV people were trying to catch speed hogs on camera so they had this gadget that showed the speed of the targeted car on the TV screen. Then the TV crew followed the car. The whole show goes on like this for one hour. You see the back side of the speeding car and I watched my Dutch friends who were watching the whole thing. zzZZ

The most memorable TV violence I could recall was from a soap opera. You know, the kind that runs for ten years and all the men and women inside have copulated with each other. There was this lady who was mentally sick. She kidnapped her ex-husband. She strapped him to a chair, hands and feet tied, mouth gagged. The next scene was, he had a black eye and she became pregnant by him.

The only thing I enjoyed on TV during my stay was watching "Sixty Seconds" CD. When Nicholas Cage went into action, all my Dutch friends ran away. My Dutch lady tried to talk me into learning Dutch and marrying one of the Dutch guys. My little head started to see myself watching my Dutch husband watching TV crew following cars to measure speed for one hour while we have bread for breakfast and lunch and potatoes for dinner. I know she loves me and she wants me to be happy but...

The Hindustanis are jumping over mountain and round the trees. Hindustani music blasted me back into reality. I was chewing rubbery roti canai in a mamak shop and somehow my mind wondered back to Holland. The Hindustani stars may not impress me with their fist fighting but they make up by jumping and running hard in the musical part. The mamak shops may not serve crispy roti canais and they are reluctant to heat up dhal and curries but they make up by providing huge TV screens, showing cabled Indian programs. So it feels like Deepavali each time I step into a mamak shop. The mamaks can watch me following the Hindustani pretty lady running around pillars. When Jackie Chan punches guys until their noses bleed profusely, nobody runs away.

Speaking only on behalf of myself, I cherish every ounce of TV violence that passes the surveillance of our "strict" television censorship. I especially savor macho guys yelling profanities that goes toooooooooot ( censored ) before going on an M-16 spree.

Dear Blog, you can call me bad. I am glorifying the Malaysian TV violence which I think is as tantalizing as Malaysian food with three main flavours : Chinese, Hollywood and Bollywood. To these, I am a hardcore addict. How to convert to Dutch this way?

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